Wish we had some exciting pictures to post this week, but we don't.  This was another emotional week.  We had some dear friends whose mother tragically passed away this week.  They have children our kids age.  I had a few nights I cried myself to sleep. Worrying about their family, wondering if this will be something my family will have to go through.  It was a surreal moment for me.  As much as you try to stay positive, these little thoughts pop into your head. Then comes worry and doubt about everything.  How do you separate being realistic with having faith?  I don't have a great answer. All I can say is, I know as I keep pressing forward even though I'm don't know the outcome I receive little bits of hope, comfort, and strength that I can do this and we will make it through everything.  The Lord knows these things aren't going to be easy for us. He knows we are going to doubt. Sometimes just doing what needs to be done is showing that hope and faith that we want our prayers to be answered, that we want things to work out. So I continue to move forward (having good days and bad days), but keeping that hope that things will be OK no matter what.
      We saw the doctor this Friday to go over all the test results. We are good to go with my own stem cells and everything else looks good to move forward with the transplant. I did have to take a pregnancy test because my HCG level was high.  You should have seen the look on Desi's face.  I think he went into shock for the 15-20 minutes we had to wait to get results back. He just kept looking at me like, "What the...".  Results came back negative and we I got my first G-CSF shot. This shot starts producing my stem cells in my bone marrow. So I had to have it Saturday and Sunday as well.  Monday the 5th we go in for central line placement and I will receive a shot that releases the stem cells into the blood.  The doctor said one of the major side affects of this shot is the loss of cash from your wallet because it's so expensive.  :) Desi thought that was funny! He's always up for a good joke! Tuesday the 6th we start stem collection.  This process could take one day or more. If they don't get it the first day, I will have to go back up that night to get another shot to pull more stem cells out. So we hope and pray my stem cells cooperate and can be collected fast! They are guesstimating I will meet the the doctors on Wed the 14th, receive another scan, and be admitted into the hospital that Thursday or Friday. That is the tentative schedule. The mountain keeps getting steeper and steeper. We just need to continue to climb until we reach the top!